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Early Morning Thoughts about her swirl
In the military i often have early wake ups  but none earlier than my 3;00 Am duty that extends to 7:30 am where i basically sit in my car and watch traffic go never ceases to amaze me how much time I have on my hands in the mornings to think about things that have happened ....To to be candid i woke up this morning thinking about Sunny a lot...I normally avoid thinking of her as much as I want to be sane through out the week ....but there are times when i Just can't avoid thinking of her ...

This morning is such a morning...I woke up and immediately began to think of her....intensely ...there are tons of things going on in my life that i could be complaining about but....I seem to always come back to her in my zero hour...I guess my feelings of being stuck and still very lonely continue and extend far beyond what i am currently life sure has had some positive growth as far as spiritually ....but i hurt

I hurt so badly some days still ....I miss  her so so much god it painful some days it feels so so intense when i sit and wrap my head around it ...I am not much for country music as much as i am for eclecticism but i find myself listening to more and more lately ....I wish this was done and over....some days i wonder how i can honestly pray for her happiness with this intense pain she caused me.... the countless tears she caused to fall  seem endless like the rain....its been about 2 whole months since I've shed a physical tear over  her,.. but those feelings still remain....

I wonder if she's truly happy...if she's content with the choice she made or if it was one of necessity

right now i am in so much pain
right now i wish she would come back to me
right now ...i wish it all would end......
god please help me through this intense pain and lamentation
I miss you so much sunny :(


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