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24 hour Duty and Thoughts of Past times with Sunny
xjcblackheartx
Here I sit on 24 hour duty...one of the bane's of my existence in the Army....its so illogical to make someone sit 24 hours and then drive a vehicle safety especially when its not necessary...The last time I was in this building doing this duty me and Sunny were together...I miss those times so much....My heart still will not let go of her fully...ever popular song i hear on TV locks me inside of a memory together with her...Where in this  memory she was my shoulder my back up she gave me strength she showed me she loved me ...which made everything so much better ..

I felt i could deal with the slings and arrows of the world of the Military of myself when I was with her....now I feel so alone...though i know I am never really alone...I know god is with me I still long so badly for her...for companionship for a partner...to share my life my joys my burdens...I shared all of those things with Sunny now I feel at times as if i am on an island surrounded by a never ending sea of loneliness and a feeling of being utterly unfulfilled ....god please help me

Please help me to accept what i cannot change gracefully...I am glad that i was at least able to attend church while on duty ....I know this is but a season ...and i know I will not feel like this always but for the moment i feel so alone i feel so trapped ...so dead inside

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